Today has been a shitty day.

I had a noon doctor’s appointment, and my blood pressure was up. This is after I made a purposeful effort to meditate before she came in the room. I was already hyped up due to the fact that I had misplaced my phone, so I was trying to cool my jets. It did little good.

The one good thing I found out is I am now eligible for free prescriptions at the free clinic, because my insurance payment and deductible through Healthcare.gov so high vs. what I make in a year that I qualify. While it was good news, it’s humbling at the same time.

Then I decide to pick up some lunch and head back to the office, but my car won’t start. This is more than annoying to me.

Ah, my car. The Sloviemobile with over 250,000 miles on it. I’ve had this same problem fixed twice already, which is why I’m more than annoyed. My mechanic has over $600 of my money and I’m still sitting in a parking lot with a car that won’t start.

And remember, I can’t find my cell phone, so I can’t call the office. I decide to go into the lunch joint and use their phone and then it dawns on me that I don’t know the number to my office. I’ve been here TWO years and thanks to the ease of cell phones and push button technology, I have not memorized the number.

So, I had to find a copy of one of the magazines we advertise in to get the number. How ridiculous is that? Thankfully my car started again…she always does…and I was back at the office where a pile of “must have now” work was waiting for me, which I did while eating my now cold lunch.

Add this to IRS woes, FAFSA bullshit and having to apply for another student loan for my daughter’s schooling, and I wonder…can I ever get out from under the constant strain of being lower middle class.

And then I remember….the Powerball.

It’s $500 million tonight. That’s five-oh-oh with a MILLION after it. And while I have almost no chance of winning, there’s is almost nothing I enjoy more than fantasizing about what I’d do if I did win.

I find the processes of planning out my life with the sum of 500 million in the bank to be very soothing. If my girls and I have purchased tickets while grocery shopping, we will inevitably outline the places we want to go, the things we want to buy, and where we would like to live during our drive home.

So I will end this crappy day buying myself a few tickets and dreaming about all the bad things I can fix tomorrow morning.