Yesterday we went to the circus. It was sort of boring to be honest. But that’s not what this blog post is about.

Driving home from Richmond we talked and laughed, and eventually my youngest settled into her iPod world, and my oldest and I settled into a few chapters of “Angela’s Ashes.”

She has to read it for her English class, and she reads it to me whenever we are in the car. I have to say I love it. I’ve seen the movie, but never read the book – and as she reads she puts on voices which makes the story that much more entertaining. I dig that we are sort of reading it together.

I love doing things together with my girls. While I’m no mother of the year, I’m very accustomed to them being around. I need my daily dose of daughter time which makes me fly into a total panic when I think that a year from now my oldest might very well be off at college.

She won’t be around. I really sat and thought about that. Days will go by where I won’t see her make one of her goofy faces or do her little dance when she sees her kitty, Olive. She won’t be there to call things “cromp” – her word for cute. There will be no hugs in the hallway, or no requests to crack her toes.

The void she is going to leave in my life will be huge. We are talking major changes for mommy. How in the world am I ever going to adjust to having one less child in the house?

How did my mom do it? Geez, when I think of my weekends home from college I want to kill myself for being so heartless. I’d grab a quick dinner that she would lovingly cook for me and then run out the door to head to the city or some bar. I was comforted because I was “home,” but was I giving her what she needed – some solid mommy daughter time?

And she had to go through it 4 times! I was the youngest, which could have made it the easiest (3 before me) or the hardest (empty house). You don’t think of those things when you are out exploring the world for the first time. You’re just trying to enjoy the ride…you sort of forget the folks you left behind.

On the bright side, I still have more than half a year before she’s gone! So for now I’ll crack her toes, and make her twice baked potatoes, and cherish every goofy face she sends my way.

After that? The world is getting one hell of a girl.