Packing Up the Office Desk

So I had my last day at work today. I went in, finished my last issue, sent it to the printer and left the office by noon. When I left, I shouted to everyone “Bye Guys! Have a great New Year!”

Nobody answered. And I’ll tell you another thing – the door didn’t hit me in the ass.

I will now make a list of the things I will not miss about that job.

  • Parking, or lack thereof. While I was provided a parking space, I  also needed to wait for the Disneyland Shuttle to pick me up – that’s how far away it was from my office. I forfeited my space years ago and had to fend for parking on the mean streets of Charlottesville. I never knew where my car would be and more than once I walked in the wrong direction at day’s end. It also made me never want to leave during lunch because finding yet another space was a chore that made working through lunch a more attractive option.
  • The Bathroom. I have blogged about this topic before. There was something about that stone walled bathroom that trapped the funky smells and held on tight to them. Unfortunately, every gal in the office decided today was a good day to crank them out faster than an organ grinder. It smelled like ass all day long…my fare-thee-well was appropriate.
  • The Kitchen. Let’s see. First of all nothing was provided to you with the exception of plastic cutlery and sandpaper-esque paper towels. We were given no tea, no coffee, no cups, no milk, no salt or pepper, no sponges, and no dish soap. I provided the office with soap and sponges for the last 2.5 years, and I think I was the only ones who used them. I’ve seen the same 6 dishes in the drainboard since June. It’s been the norm for the boss to have a hissy fit at 7 pm and throw everything in the sink/drainboard and fridge out with no warning. I lost several mugs, jars of milk and yogurts over the course of my employment.
  • The People. Maybe it’s just me but I have never worked with a more unfriendly group of people. It could be because most of them were 15 -20 years younger than me. Some were married, almost none had kids. I would try to talk to them, but to be honest, they showed no interest. It was easier and vastly more pleasurable to just put on my headphones and listen to Howard Stern.
  • The Ignorance. My one coworker and I were virtually ignored. Our newspaper was the low man on the totem pole, and we were sitting right along side it. I was using design software that was roughly 5 years old. That’s like 50 years in techno-speak. I asked to get updated programs, but we were deemed not worth the expense.

The one and only thing I will miss is my paycheck, and the ability to work from home from time to time. That’s it. Nobody cared about me there – that was made glaringly obvious today when I left. There was no farewell speech, no “how about drinks after work.” Just me wishing my coworkers a happy new year and utter silence in return.

It can only get better. I think a job at Dollar General will be more rewarding.

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