I had my last cigarette.
I never thought I would be able to quit. I had semi-started in college. I’d grub a smoke at a party or at a tailgate. When I started my first job, half the staffers smoked and you didn’t even have to leave the building. It was great – I’d pop into one of my buddies office’s to chat or have a meeting, they’d offer me a smoke, and I’d light one up. I would buy them a pack in gratitude from time to time.
Then I just started buying them on my own. That was 1987. I quit 3 years ago in 2009. Almost 30 years smoking. What a fucking waste.
I’d quit a few times – during my pregnancies. And once back in 2004 I’d quit for 9 whole months. I was over the hump and home free. But then I went to take pictures of the Walton’s Museum in Schuyler, VA. A guy that ran the gift shop smoked and we got to talking. He offered me one – that casual shake of the pack where one of those slender, white beauties pops it’s little head up – and I took it.
I bought a pack on the way home.
It was then I learned that once I quit I cannot, CANNOT, have another. One puff is all it takes for the nicotine to take control.
And how did I do it? The patch. I bought one pack of the name brand Nicoderm. After 2 weeks, I switched to generics, and by 6 weeks I was off the patch all together. I am not sure what made it stick this time. I had tried the patch consistently since they started making them, and they started making them waaaaaay long ago. But something clicked this time. Maybe I got tired of hearing my husband and kids whine at me to stop. Maybe I saw that the price of a pack was going to jump to over $5. I was tired of wasting my money and being the outcast.
I made it a game. Let’s see if I can make it one day. Ok, now let’s see if I can make through two. Then a week. Then a month. Then is was easy. My family was so happy, and I was too.
I loved smoking. I loved that 2 minutes of solitude I got hanging out on my back porch. When I got the urge after quitting, I would go out and hang over the porch railing and suck in some deep breaths. It helped a lot.
And here I am three years later. I’ve not had one cigarette. Not one. I wonder if I’ll go my entire life without inhaling a Parliament Light again. Who knows. But for now, I am one smoke-free Slovak.
I quit in 2006 but the summer of 2010 I sorta started again. On Fire Island they do not enforce the smoking ban because technically the bars are outdoor spaces. I had a vodka martini in hand & was offered a smoke & you know how that goes. It then became “well I only smoke when I’m on Fire Island” & then I only bummed them.
I never went back full time but I still get the craving when under stress. The last time I bummed a smoke was a month ago. I’ve been back to Fire Island several times this summer already without having one so even though I really just had the occasional smoke I am on track to never having one again.
Its the stupidest habit because it really doesn’t do anything for you. At least drugs & booze make you feel good (temporarily), smoking just makes you want to smoke more. The funniest thing is seeing kids in their 20s smoke because for some reason they just can’t. They all look like Bobby Hill when they smoke & its almost like they’re wearing their father’s clothes.
well you’ve always been that kind who can restrict yourself – I would’ve bought a carton by the next day. With me it’s all or nothin’.