A strange phenomenon occurred after I had kids. My feet went from a size 9 that could easily slip into a sassy pump or strappy sandal, to a size 10 roughly the width of the Mississippi river. A true Buster Brown WTF.

The last few years especially, I have had a really hard time finding shoes. I’ll roam down the aisles in any given shoe store and one of three things will happen. 1. I love the shoe but cannot afford the shoe, 2. I love the shoe and they don’t have my size, or 3. I love the shoe, they have my size yet my saquatchian foot still won’t fit inside.

I went through this very scenario yesterday. Picture it….Thursday morning, 7:20 am.  I go to slip on my 2 year old sandals to  head to work when hubby exclaims, “I hate those things. Go get yourself a new pair of sandals at lunch today.”

He of course says this like he just commanded me to buy a gallon of milk. Or a can of air freshener. He has no clue (or has blocked out) the rigamarole involved in shoe shopping for this big footed Slovak.

It didn’t help any that I was retaining water earlier in the week. To say my feet were plump would be an understatement. Plus, my body was trying to get rid of all the extra fluid in my system –  I think I hit a ladies room 4 times over the course of the 90 minutes I was shoe shopping.

In any case I visited 3 shoe stores, tried to try on about 27 pairs of sandals, and came home with nothing. It was a bummer to say the least.

This is why when I find a shoe, I stick with it fast and hard. We are inseparable. We are united as brothers. And then invariably, one of my kids will step on the back of my heel while we are walking to some place or another, and my shoe will snap.

Another one bites the dust. This always tends to happen when we are on vacation in Florida too. I try to find the same shoe, but alas, we are never to be partnered again. And, sadly, I must search for a new sole mate.

I’m hoping that once my feet are no longer puffy, and I have a few hours to devote to a true search, I can find that perfect sandal. Much like Cinderalla, I will find myself slipping my foot into a shoe that is a perfect fit. My prince charming in shoe leather.

And then my kids will be commanded to walk 5 paces ahead of me at all times